i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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