So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize