Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
the day after is always just damage control
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
