Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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