matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Alive.
So much puke
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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