I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
