that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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