she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
