i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
