you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
