fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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