How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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