Heybabeimwearingurpanties
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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