doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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