if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I love you.
Bad choice
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
