With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
