You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
