On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
