I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
