I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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