mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
