I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
