Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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