those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
