I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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