i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize