Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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