What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
This baby is an asshole
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize