Don't you send me to vm
well you can't waste a boner
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize