Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
