ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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