I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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