i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
