At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
