Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Randomize
