It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
