So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
