if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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