I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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