Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
