I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
