Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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