Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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