And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I party with great urgency now.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize