He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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