You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
