Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
