so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
