I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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