so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
