I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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