I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
