I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
