Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
