I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
