They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She even gives head with a lisp.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
