If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
