speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
operation have a gay friend backfired
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Dick very happy bro
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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