Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize