I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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