Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
