no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
