She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
