We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
